Consider these staggering statistics:

• One out of two marriages ends in divorce.
• 75% remarry
• 66% of those living together or remarried break up when children are involved.

What does this tell us?  Marriage is difficult.  Remarriage is even more difficult.  Blending two families together into a new family unit is one of the most difficult endeavors two adults may ever face.  Real life for stepfamilies is not like the Brady Bunch.  It is full of challenges and conflicts that can easily tear families apart.

Merging two families takes time–a lot of it.  In fact, research shows that it takes seven years to successfully build a stepfamily–assuming it is done right the first time and doesn’t have to be undone first.  If you’re facing challenges in your stepfamily, take heart.  There is hope for change.  It may not happen overnight, but realizing some simple little understood facts can make a huge difference.  Keep in mind that

• Love does not occur instantly between the child and stepparent
• You can never take the place of your stepchild’s biological parent
• You may actually resent the relationship your stepchildren have with your spouse.

All of these things are normal and part of the challenge of building a successful stepfamily.  In spite of the challenges, many couples build dynamic stepfamilies and enjoy rich relationships with each other.  It’s worth the effort to make it work.

Book Recommendations

Saving Your Second Marriage Before It Starts 
by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrot
The Stepfamily Survival Guide by Natalie Gillespie
The Smart Step-Family by Ron Deal
Making Peace with Your Stepfamily by Harold H. Bloomfield M.D.
I'm Not Your Kid by Kay Adkin